Nigeria: A Fifty Eight Year Old Toddler by Oladehinde Ibikunle

I am careful not to laden this composition with too many quotes yet every sincere, thought-provoking assertion I have perused about the paradox of my native Nigeria seems relevant to what my muse is compelling me to pen. The following are the ones I have selected out of the plethora quotables I have in my archive. I will plead with my readers to reference each of them in relation to the few points I will subsequently raise.

"You go to conferences, and your fellow African intellectuals - and even heads of state - they all say: 'Nigeria is a big disappointment. It is the shame of the African continent."
...Wole Soyinka

"Nigeria is a West African nation of over 100 million energetic people. It is endowed with lots of natural resources but lacks human resources."
...Philip Emeagwali

"We are the hunted heirs; and our leaders are our predators"
...Akinade Abimbola

"There is no country in the world with the diversity, confidence and talent and black pride like Nigeria."
...Binyavanga Wainaina

"I've had trouble now and again in Nigeria because I have spoken up about the mistreatment of factions in the country because of difference in religion. These are things we should put behind us."
...Chinua Achebe

The pre-independence era in Nigeria was marked by foreign rule. We learnt in school that indirect rule was adopted by the British Governor+Generals in order to avoid native rebellion and to minimize expenses. We knew how well indirect rule flourished in Hausa/Fulani's north, failed to some extent in Igbo's southeast while it was greeted with indifference in Yoruba's west. This fact rendered the amalgamation of 1914 a great but irrevocable error. The peoples it brought together as a federation are thoroughly distinct in every facet of their lives that they hardly can coexist without contradictions. It is like keeping wolves, sheep and goats in the same cage. I am therefore not amazed that my country is bedevilled but that which I am amazed is the fact that England, a  monolingual country found sense in forcing three multi lingual entities (each of which is geographically larger than England itself) together without their consent.

Our fore fathers never agreed to live together. Our togetherness was forced upon us and so was the name, Nigeria. Anyhow, we agreed and kept the status quo. No wonder Obafemi Awolowo said in Path To Nigerian Freedom (1947) that "Nigeria is not a nation. It is a mere geographical expression. The word Nigerian is merely a distinctive appellation to distinguish those who live within the boundaries of Nigeria from those who do not" (End of quote). While no reasonable human would suggest that we undo what Fredrick Lugard did in 1914, the three distinct Nigerian entities cannot part their ways yet refuse accept the differences of one another. The enraged masses cast aspersion on one another, religious extremism aided the tendencies of religious intolerance. Notwithstanding, the leaders - regardless of the creed, tribe or religion - have remained united not in solving the nation's predicaments but in making them worse by pilfering the nation's commonwealth and impoverishing the already angered masses. The three entities did not fail to show their differences in the way they deal with poverty: one of them takes more to street and alms begging, the other to armed robbery and the last one to money ritualism.

In the history of my native Nigeria, every politicians cum leaders who promised Nigerians better lives left us worse than he met us. The military juntas recorded thousands of awful failures than a few success in those years they took the nation rulership. They committed unspeakable atrocities that haunt the history of this nation. For every progress we made in one aspect as a country, there is a hundred regression in other phases. As much as we are blessed with numberless of good resources, we are cursed with the reincarnation of cold-hearted, merciless, tribally and religiously prejidiced group of people who parade themselves as democrats and leaders who monopolised public offices as the exclusive right of their groups. These unworthy fellow creatures by the dints of political power gluttonously allocated for themselves an unjustifiable chunk of our national wealth through salaries and allowances for serving and retired political office holders that almost nothing is left to cater for Nigerians whom they claim they serve. Contracts are awarded within circles and yet unsatisfied, federal, state and local government treasuries are looted and kept for their great grand children unborn. Infrastructural development makes meaning more in analysis than I reality. The one who promised to create million of employment ended up creating more of unemployment. They console us with stipends which can hardly afford a bachelor good meals for a month in the economy they have bastardised.

Education, which majority of them enjoyed free of charge is now an opportunity through which the government extort the already depleted citizens. The Joint Matriculation Examination Board is a governmental profit-making establishment which legitimately swindle money from millions of admission seekers yearly. No state University is affordable to the common man's child(ren) in Nigeria and the federal ones are gradually and unnoticeably modifying their tuition fees. Indirectly, our government has portrayed education to be the right of only the wealthy; telling Obafemi Awolowo that he was foolish for once giving it for free.

Nigerians have been repeatedly hoodwinked, exploited, pummelled and battered by these coterie of leaders. While the government failed in its responsibilities to its citizens, it looks for every possible way for the citizens to perform their own responsibilities. The type of democracy in practice in Nigeria is a sham. Our electoral system which once took the right direction is now derailing. The highest bidder gets the party's tickets and, of course, get votes whether from the people or by any squalid mean. The just concluded gubernatorial elections in Ekiti and Osun states bespoke a great dearth to the beauty of democracy. The Osun supplementary rerun was specifically a national embarrassment. Those countries with which we started together as third-world countries have developed beyond the reach of our imagination.

Nigeria, as advanced as we boast in Africa, seems to have no medical doctor whose experience in medicine suffices to treat our incumbent governors and president. Or why do you think they travel so far away to get treatment? If we do have doctors who are well trained and competent, then it is a laughable disgrace that our leaders still seek medical attentions abroad. You can hardly get education in Nigeria without being exploited financially and intellectually. There is almost zero hope of employment after school yet every state government and the federal government praise itself annually on creation of thousands of jobs. Whom did they employ. Nigerians entrepreneurial skills are maimed by unconducive environment. Poor economic strategy by the government is suffocating the masses who have no share from the nation's treasuries. We have lived far below expectations economically,   infrastructurally, politically and in every other national facet. Listen to our leaders speak, a close study to their words and actions/ policies will give you reasons to realise that honesty is missing. Those who claim to have integrity have no iota of it. Our moral values are smashed. We commend deceits and revere tyrants in the presence of our children who watch with keen interest. There is no respect for truth and human dignity. Fifty eight years ago, we got freedom from foreign exploiters and got recolonised by our own leaders. Nigeria is independent but Nigerians are politically in shackles and economically disabled. At fifty eight we are not much different from a toddler.

© Oladehinde Ibikunle

MV Nyerere, The Ill-fated Tanzanian Vessel by Oladehinde Ibikunle

MV Nyerere, The Ill-fated Tanzania Vessel

Here, in our dear Africa, things which betray the notion of common sense happen in predictable successions. While governments (of her various countries) raise eye brows to express their discountenance, they do almost nothing to abate the probability of such lugubrious happenstance from happening in the nearest future. Lip service they call it. Over the years, I have come to the conclusion that the only things African leaders do wholeheartedly and with utmost depth of seriousness is attaining and retaining political offices even  if such mandate is against the people's will.

Though somewhat lagging, Africa has not hesitated in embracing the technologies of the advanced continents but Africa has failed woefully in putting in place measures to reduce the disadvantages of these modern technologies. We cannot imagine land transportation (whether rail or road) without regarding the fact that road crashes and derailing are probable. We want to fly in aircraft but we are flippant in making sure we fly safely. We put in place ferry to move our citizens and goods on waterways but put in place zero safety precautions in cases of unpredictable accidents. This is the apparent case of the recent mishap of the ferry, MV Nyerere in Tanzania where lives of innocent and hapless Tanzanians were lackadaisically wasted.

How do you explain without contradicting simple logic that a ferry with the capacity of about hundred passengers was made to ply the lagoon with over three hundred people on board? As if that was not enough, there were reports that cargoes of maize and other farm produce were stocked in the ferry. Tell me, isn't that suicidal?

As an African who understands how absurdities are surreptitiously perpetuated, I am convinced that the ill-fated MV Nyerere would have been overburdened with overload on countless voyages before it eventually surrendered to weariness on 20th of September, 2018. It is either the government of Tanzania and its ministry of transportation have failed in their duty of ensuring safe voyages especially in the supervisory aspects or some officials have compromised the ethics of their job by allowing such suicidal overload.

But then, such a number of poor, innocent Tanzanians cannot pay for some people's misconduct and negligence with their lives. It is a monumental injustice that four days national mourning cannot vindicate.  Let appropriate investigation be professionally made and those found to have educed this doom be arrested and doomed by the law. The ministry of (water) transportation should be subjected to intense scrutiny to determine whether or not the ministry has failed in its ministerial duty of ensuring the safety of commuters and travellers. The operator of the ferryboat, Tanzanian Electrical,
Mechanical and Services Agency (TEMESA), should also be probed. Her operating license should be revoked for she cannot guarantee the safety of her passengers. Whether by government or by whomever is concerned, enough life jackets should be provided in Tanzanian vessels, life boats should be made available in vessels for without life boats, the case of Titanic would have been worse. Helicopter should be provided with life guards patrolling over lakes and lagoons to save lives in emergency cases. Anything fall short of these recommendations, gives the impression that the safety of water transportation in Tanzania and Africa at large is unsure.

© Oladehinde Ibikunle.

Buying a Sachet of Water for a River Goddess

Buying a Sachet of Water for a River Goddess
by Oladehinde Ibikunle

I've always argued that Nigeria has a president whose stance bespeaks immaculate sincerity. His integrity supplants what other presidents/prime ministers in all the countries of the world can boast of.

The above fact was established when the president lamented the exorbitance of his party's presidential nomination form in the same way the average Nigerians lamented when the price of petrol hit 145NGN.

But, the president has squalidly feigned his inability to purchase the form in order to accentuate his prudence. This is the same action he took in 2015 when he announced reduction in his own salary yet could not subdue his ministers to do the same.

Nigerians should understand. The president was not economical on his numberless trips to various countries for diplomatic reasons. Who can ascertain the number of company keepers in his entourage to China? Who will estimate how much we spent on Yusuf? All these and other unknown instances of lavish  lifestyle are not abnormal for a nation's president, the president therefore needs not to feign financial incapability in order to hoodwink ductile Nigerians. We are all aware that abundant luxury and affluence are major attributes of political offices in Nigeria.

This fact the ruling party took into consideration when they decided to sell the presidential nomination form at 45million NGN; an amount the party (and every other Nigerian) believes is payable by the president who bids for second term in office without much ado notwithstanding its obvious outrageousness.

It is however utterly implausible that a particular group taxed one another to purchase the form for the president. It is like buying a sachet of water for a river goddess.  There is an insignia of absurdity in it. As the president has publicly stated, in a case whereby he feels dissatisfied with the price of the nomination form, if genuine and not feigned, he should have prevailed on the party's decision-makers to forthwith reduce the price or courageously decamped to another party whose nomination forms are cheaper, say Labour Party. This would have made his position on anti corruption more believable and of course made 2019 drama more fascinating.

Oladehinde Ibikunle

On The Cases of Madness in OAU, Ife by Oladehinde Ibikunle

On the Cases of Madness in Ife
by Oladehinde Ibikunle

I dismissed the story of the first case as a rumour. It happened in one of the ODLTs, but there were so many testifiers that I reached the conclusion that it was true. The second one happened in an examination hall; maybe it was one of those expensive jokes and now the third one reportedly happened somewhere in the sport complex of the school. 

The polarity of fear instilled in hearts of students (by fellow students) here is on the far and extreme positive side. Students, especially freshmen, who get easily frightened by the threat of academic failure fidget and fawn their mental tails to the gory story of their sophomores and supposed seniors.

Efforts are intensified, "First class must be made by whatever means" for the intellectually gifted ones and "Road One is not my portion" for the other ones. Those who are not well-inured  with reading for long hours without sleep have to abuse drugs to keep themselves active and awake. So, when the brain loses it enduring strength to sleepless nights, then  a case of madness is reported.

While I do not underestimate the transcendental powers from the village, I believe most of these madnesses are self-inflicted.

Let the mad students know - and those who will run mad in the subsequent examinations - that first class is prestigious but it is not a fair deal when it is exchanged for one's well being or sanity.

And... Who told you that you must be on the brink of madness before you have it?